Woo! Summer Vacation!

We just found out that we get to go on an incredible summer trip! The only problem is, no internet access. So enjoy your summer, everyone, and we will talk again in August!

The Family That Plays Hooky Together...

Who can concentrate on anything productive when there are amazing new products and services being announced... by Steve Jobs! One by one, members of my family decided to stay home. We canceled meetings, classes, and appointments. We let Otto stay home from school because, well, we realize the importance and gravity of being one of the very first people to hear any announcement out of the mouth of Jobs. We weren't going to let him miss out!

When it was almost time for the broadcast to start, we made sure to already be done eating and to have used the facilities before he started talking. We locked the door. We made sure no one would call us with actual phone calls. Then we gathered, riveted, around the screen, taking in every word.

What he said was fantastical. It was inspirational. It spoke to our hearts and our minds. We were instantly filled with excitement, and the urge to go spend money on Apple products.

Long Live Steve Jobs!

I Need a Vacation From My Vacation

Holiday weekends are great, but afterward it's always difficult to get back to the daily routine. Otto doesn't want to get up for school, John barely makes it out the door, gallon of coffee in tow, and even Mort is less communicative than usual. Plus over the long weekend I lose all my momentum. Fortunately, most of my deadlines are self-imposed, so there is a bit of wiggle room. But after this weekend, I'm beat.

You'd think just one extra day off wouldn't make a big difference. You'd be wrong. Having an intelligent child is great, but there certainly are some side effects. Like when they rewire the dishwasher for an experiment and neglect to tell you, causing all the water to end up on the floor. Or when the dinner you prepared has been pureed without your knowledge "just to see how it would taste." And here's my favorite: The television was reprogrammed so that the channel numbers are now in hexadecimal. And John was no help. At least to me. He was helping Otto with these projects!

I love geeky projects. But a little forewarning is always thoughtful.

So I retaliated by leaving the house all day Monday to write and lounge at the local bookstore and coffee shop. I thought being left to their own devices would be a useful exercise in responsibility. I was wrong. I came home to all of our furniture arranged for a huge Tetris game.

So I showed them finding a long pillow to insert into the one space they couldn't fill. Take that!

And now, Calgon, take me away!

Lost in Venti-land

I've come up with a new business idea. I'm kind of sick of there no longer being logical sizes such as small, medium, and large. They keep shifting upward, so that large is the smallest you can get. That makes no sense. And it's getting a little old having John come home from work, shaking like a leaf, because he drank too much coffee-related drink product. So I've decided to start a website suggesting we move in the other direction.

The new sizes shall be, in increasing order of size, Itty-Bitty, Tiny, Wee, and Small. I don't see that it's any more ridiculous than going in the other direction. The cost of products in these sizes will also of course decrease. This will give consumers more options. They can order an Itty-Bitty if that's all they want. Or a Small if they are really thirsty. Or a combination of sizes. With small sizes, there is always the option to order more. But with huge sizes, you can't order half of a drink!

So to all you marketing folk out there, join me in taking back the smaller sizes!

I Am Sif, Norse Goddess!

Since John and Otto are off watching Thor, I decided to have some fun of my own. So today I'm Sif, Norse goddess of earth, and Thor's wife! So I've been walking around the house, shaking my "long, golden tresses," cursing Loki under my breath. He cut off my hair! But I was so lucky to have my Thor make Loki procure a golden headpiece for me.

I have to admit, I'm enjoying the long hair (made out of my old Halloween costume wig from when I was Rapunzel and John was a knight). It makes me feel all... girly. It's almost novel. But I've found that I have to move around the house slowly as I've already pushed some books off the table and knocked over a glass of water. I've also gotten it caught in the front door.

Mort is being kind enough to stand in as my son Ullr, which basically entails him sitting there looking interested while I keep pretending. I think he's really reading the newspaper sitting in front of him, but still, he's being a good sport about it.

I hope John will dress up like Thor when he gets home!

My Son, the Projectmeister

I hear other moms complain that when school projects come around, the parents end up doing more work than the kids. They have to buy the materials, keep on their kid to make sure they finish in time, and clean up the mess... I just don't understand it. Sure I had to pick up a few things for Otto at the store this morning for his latest school project, but sometimes I feel like I just need to wind him up and let him go. He's so self-sufficient! Well, at least when it comes to these kinds of things. Plus he always works on things about which he is very passionate. We should all be so lucky!

As soon as we got home from the store with some plaster of Paris, some paint, and a few army men, I turned to talk to Otto about his project and got out half a word before he grabbed the bag out of my hand and said, "Thanks, Mom! Let me know when dinner is ready," and then he disappeared. I've learned not to pry, realizing that boys like to have their secret laboratories. But I sure hope he doesn't practice making plaster casts on Mort. Frogs aren't known for being good patients.

Edited later to add: I've now seen Otto's completed project. It is very well done, if a bit... revisionist. I'm very curious to see what comments his teacher will have!

The iPad Will Be Mine. Oh Yes, It Will Be Mine!

I try not to be an early adopter. For one, it gets expensive. For two, you never know which fun gadgets will take off and be useful, and which will whimper and die a quiet death having only been fun for fun's sake. But while I knew from the beginning that the iPad would be useful, awesome, and fun, it's still a good idea to wait for a second model before buying anything. So I kept waiting. And waiting. Coveting my neighbors' iPads. Making do with my little iPod Touch. Waiting. Yearning. Waiting. Planning. Until finally...

iPad 2 Release Date Announced!

It would have not one, but two cameras! It would be faster! It would be lighter! It would be thinner! And it would have a specially designed functional cover that you could buy for only $39.99! Ahhhh!!! After I managed to contain myself, I marked the calendar for the day when I could finally order one. And then I ordered one. One shiny, new, black, 64 GB wi-fi iPad, inscribed lovingly with, "Do, or do not. There is no try." Oh yes, it would be mine.

But once again it was a "hurry up and wait" kind of situation. Hurry up and order. Oh, but wait, it will be a month before it arrives. Ahhh! But after much planning and waiting, my iPad is almost here. I will be here waiting for it. And my family won't see me for the next week! I sure hope they'll send sandwiches because I'll be busy putting on apps, customizing settings, and reveling in this larger window to the world.

See you on FaceTime!

Otto's Long Wait, Hobbit-Style

Otto's off on another adventure of his own design. He and Mort are camping out waiting for The Hobbit movie to start. Nevermind that it's a long wait. He wants to be the first to get his ticket. He is even keeping a blog of his experience waiting for this epic movie. I've packed him some sandwiches and juice, but at this point I'm not sure if John and I are prepared to make the daily trips down to the theater to replenish his supplies. Perhaps he'll do some farming in the median. The growing season has started, after all.

Still, this reminds me of my own experience at his age, camping out for Return of the Jedi. The much-anticipated movie promised to answer all our questions and wrap up the story line. What was going to happen to Han and Leia? Where did Luke fit in? Would Han ever get out of the carbonite? What of Luke's training? Was he a half-Jedi? Would Yoda finish his instruction? All those mysteries I pondered as I camped out with my older sister, waiting to get tickets for the movie.

People didn't plan ahead so much in those days, though, and we only camped out for three days before the movie premiered. Our efforts were rewarded, however, when my sister and I were the first people to get tickets at our theater. The excitement of my pre-teen enthusiasm and crush on Han Solo were completely unaffected by any dose of reality. We watched the movie with wide eyes and loved it. And I loved the Ewoks, I have to admit. Sure, they weren't as hip as Tribbles, but they certainly didn't multiply like them, either.

My sister and I didn't get enough Star Wars to match our long build-up to seeing the movie, so after the movie was over we immediately got tickets to see it again. Our parents dropped some hot soup by to sustain us. I didn't keep a journal like Otto is doing, but that weekend certainly stands out as one of the most memorable of my childhood. I hope Otto has a similar experience! The long wait till be nothing in retrospect! Confusticate and bebother these dwarves!

Communicating With an Internet Addict 101

Out of necessity, I've developed a new way to communicate with my husband. He no longer responds to quiet polite comments, or even a shout across the house. I've always been very happy that I didn't have the kind of husband who watches football all day Sunday and ignores the rest of the world. But now I have a husband who has been seemingly irretrievably sucked into the internet. I can stand right next to him and wave my arms, and he is oblivious. It is starting to become problematic.

However! If I send him an email, or message him on Facebook, or even DM him on Twitter, he responds with amazing speed and efficiency. I've taken to carrying my laptop around the house for instant communication.

The only thing it doesn't work for, however, is calling him to dinner. He doesn't want to leave his desk. He must have a stash of food hidden somewhere, because he never seems to be hungry. But there is a silver lining to this issue. His unfortunate absence around the dinner table has allowed me to cook some more unusual dishes that Otto and I like, such as pork, vegetable, and raisin goulash stew! It's great with crusty bread.

Cookie, Cookie, Who's Got the Cookie?

When I was a girl, I loved being a Girl Scout. While all the other girls were whispering and passing notes, I was keeping a log of all my earned badges and figuring out what I needed to do to earn more. My favorites were the ones were I got to put things together, or to learn about science. It was also the first and last time that I got to wear a uniform. Color-coordinated polyester goodness! Also, because of this early exposure, I loved Girl Scout cookies from an early age. I didn't much care for selling them (going door to door and talking to strangers just isn't my cup of tea), but.. oh yum.. the cookies!

Having a son of my own instead of a daughter, I no longer have an easy "in" for getting as many cookies as I want. We do have a couple of sources, though. John's got someone at work. And one of the girls in the neighborhood sometimes comes to our door. But we have to be on our toes. To make sure we get our cookies, every spring we go on the prowl, laying in wait for when the cookies will go on sale. And then we pounce. Whoever gives us the first opportunity gets a huge order.

We order some of everything. I have my favorites. John has his. Otto likes to have as wide a variety as possible in as large a quantity as possible. And Mort, well, he'll only eat the Thin Mints. But he eats a lot of them.

We turn into paranoid hoarders come Girl Scout cookie season. We love our Girl Scout cookies. So we each have our personal stashes that we carefully hide and guard. I have all of mine hidden in a very secret location. I won't tell where. Otto might find out. I trust Otto in most things, but when it comes to Girl Scout cookies, he cannot be trusted!

I must go. The Trefoils are calling me.

World Domination Through Home Papercrafting

Otto and I have been fiddling around with paper crafts this week. Once we finished with the awesome robot kit I found, I became obsessed and found so many more online that you can print yourself! Thick card stock, a sharp X-acto knife, and a color printer are all we need to rule over our own universe of dinosaurs, the Copernican solar system, and subduction zones. Oh, and a space hotel, too! Muhahahaha!

Once almost all our dinosaurs fell in the subduction zones or moved into the space hotels, Otto got bored and mumbled something about preferring to build real robots. I, on the other hand, am now obsessed with paper. So I moved on to time machines. "Out of a Delorean?" you ask. Yes, of course. What else? Now I just have to find some uranium. Or invent Mr. Fusion. Then I can travel back in time to the time of castles and knights and take the last remaining dinosaur with me. Siege weapons will rule the day!

Then back in the real world, I can print out a planisphere to use with Otto and John to find constellations at night. Perhaps we'll take up astronomy with earnest next!

The only drawback to my new hobby? Papercuts.

Playing the Modern Bargain Hunting Game

The other day I planned to go out shopping to buy Otto some new socks. He must be battling Orcs with his feet because every pair of his socks are filled with holes! Unfortunately, the snowy weather kept me inside. I secretly love it when that happens. But apparently Mother Nature didn't get the memo that it is springtime now? It was so snowy that Otto barely made it to the school bus. I could see his little head bobbing above the top of the snow, in the narrow crevice that John had carved out before work.

I decided to shop online instead.

One thing I like about shopping online is that it is easy to comparison shop without leaving your cushy office chair! I didn't even have to change out of my robot pajamas. I eventually managed to find awesome glow-in-the-dark space socks for a good price, but the price was so good that I didn't fill my basket with enough for the free shipping. Such is the curse that are online discounts.

I think websites ought to make a new category entitled "Items under $5 that you might need to fill out your order that you will eventually use even if you don't quite need them yet." I'm often searching out $1 and $2 items to get to the free shipping threshold. It's harder than you'd think! Pencils come in a gross. Even granola bars come in a package of six or twelve boxes. I kept adding inexpensive things until I got over the $25 limit. So when my package finally arrives, it will have a book, Otto's socks, crackers, toothpaste, and a small package of emery boards.

I love ordering so many disparate things! When I open the box, I will pretend that we're all lost on a desert island and we got lucky enough to get a care package from a passing airplane. Everything I ordered could be handy in such a situation. After all, you don't want to snag your nail on a coconut!

In the Land of Comics

As a total comic girl, I saved my pennies to get new comic books as they came out. I loved Teen Titans and X-Men were my favorites. No matter that the other girls looked at me, Barbies in hand, with expressions of utter bafflement on their faces. I loved my comic books. (Though not so much that I'm not selling them off slowly to pay for Otto's college education!)

So when Otto came along, I wanted to suck him into the comic universe. I found some really cute or weird comic books intended for very young children. Once he stopped drooling on them and using them as stepstools, I set him free to read and pick out his own. His favorites were OwlyArchie. But of course I also had him read plenty of X-Men. Our weekly trips to the comic book store, Otto still in his stroller, were met with curious glances.

So it's no wonder that these days he's often elbow deep in his own comic book wonderland. Granted, that isn't very high, but comics are quite thin. So, yeah, that's a lot of comics.

These days, his swirling vortex of entropy (i.e., his room) is filled with a different kind of comic. I was concerned for a while that the comics Otto chose to read were giving him a ridiculously stilted view of life and interpersonal relationships. So I took away his Archie comics and bought him some Manga. Manga has been around for a long time, but I'd never read it when I was a kid. But now... the Japanese certainly know how to entertain the geeky masses!

Watching Otto get lost in comic books made me nostalgic for the days when my face was buried in the newest issue. So he's re-inspired me, and I've found some really fantastic books that appeal to me as a grown-up. So now I curl up with a mug of tea, Earl Grey, hot, along with books such as Mouse Guard or the Marvel Illustrated series.

And maybe someday I'll "borrow" one of Otto's books so I can figure out why he's so obsessed with Fullmetal Alchemist. I hope it has to do with alchemy and not the fact that the story involves cute girls in skirts that are WAY too short. Just so long as he doesn't pass it off as a science book. I know better.
and, strangely enough,

Have Needle and Thread, Will Buy in Bulk

It's been like The Shire around our house lately. Everything's been about fantasy. John and Otto have played hours of Castle Quest. Their D&D character sheets cover the kitchen table. I even found some of their game pieces in my coupon drawer! This is really getting out of hand. (Plus, I don't see why they don't organize everything nicely in a binder, as I do with mine.)

And John's taken up sewing. In his brief stretches of spare time between video games and D&D campaigns, he is making D&D costumes for Otto and himself. He has read some sewing books, made some sketches, taken measurements, dug out my old sewing machine, and even braved the fabric store. Most nights I hear the whirring of the sewing machine long after I'm in bed. He's taken over the dining room table with earth-toned fabrics and various metal accessories. I can't wait to see the end results, but I'd also like our horizontal surfaces back. We've been eating on the counter for a week!

I have to admit, though, I wish he was making me a costume, too. A cape please? Maybe I'll send him and Otto to Costco so I can whip up something for myself while they're gone. That is if I can find the shopping list among the characters, stats, and dice. Can't let them have all the fun!

Bake or Bake Not; There Is No Try

So, I spent half my day covered in flour and smelling of vanilla. It was worth it, though, because in the end I produced three dozen cookies for Otto's Physics Club bake sale. They're trying to save up money for materials to built a hovercraft. Little do his classmates know that Otto built one last summer out of his bicycle; the Physics Club will use a lawn mower engine.

Otto and I helped run the bake sale booth this afternoon with a few of the other moms. Everyone else made the usual chocolate chip cookies, lemon bars, and "cupcakes" that are more frosting than cake. I thought mint green Dagoba Yodas and dark chocolate Darth Vaders were more appropriate. But the kids played with the Yoda and Darth cookies more than they ate them. It looked like Alderan exploded on the floor by the time it was over. Everyone nearby felt a great disturbance in the Force while I swept up all the crumbs.

As I expected, most of my cookies sold out before the boring baked goods did, but at the end of the day, all of the coconut pistachio Ewoks were left. I should have known better. Next time, Spock Ears!

Zombies! And Robots! And Laundry! Oh My!

Welcome to my spiffy new home for geek-tastic blogginess!

I wanted to come up with a really awesome opening post to engage everyone. You know, maybe write an epic essay comparing motherhood to Battlestar Galactica. Unfortunately, the day didn't quite cooperate with me.

As I was finishing up a project for a client, my genius son, Otto, had his latest robot experiment go haywire and destroy half the house.
Then John, my husband, appeared through the rubble and shuffled about the kitchen zombie-like begging for dinner. He swears he was saying "Foood! Foood!" but all I heard was "Braaains! Braaains!"

And I certainly can't begin to discuss the poker game that our pet frog was hosting in our basement.

Needless to say, it's almost midnight and I am left with three choices:
A) Start writing that epic blog post about the parallels between family life and the battle against the Cylon empire
B) Watch an episode of Dr. Who on the DVR
C) Do laundry

Sorry people, but I think the Doctor wins. And as much as I love my family, wearing dirty socks tomorrow won't kill them.