Lost in Venti-land

I've come up with a new business idea. I'm kind of sick of there no longer being logical sizes such as small, medium, and large. They keep shifting upward, so that large is the smallest you can get. That makes no sense. And it's getting a little old having John come home from work, shaking like a leaf, because he drank too much coffee-related drink product. So I've decided to start a website suggesting we move in the other direction.

The new sizes shall be, in increasing order of size, Itty-Bitty, Tiny, Wee, and Small. I don't see that it's any more ridiculous than going in the other direction. The cost of products in these sizes will also of course decrease. This will give consumers more options. They can order an Itty-Bitty if that's all they want. Or a Small if they are really thirsty. Or a combination of sizes. With small sizes, there is always the option to order more. But with huge sizes, you can't order half of a drink!

So to all you marketing folk out there, join me in taking back the smaller sizes!

I Am Sif, Norse Goddess!

Since John and Otto are off watching Thor, I decided to have some fun of my own. So today I'm Sif, Norse goddess of earth, and Thor's wife! So I've been walking around the house, shaking my "long, golden tresses," cursing Loki under my breath. He cut off my hair! But I was so lucky to have my Thor make Loki procure a golden headpiece for me.

I have to admit, I'm enjoying the long hair (made out of my old Halloween costume wig from when I was Rapunzel and John was a knight). It makes me feel all... girly. It's almost novel. But I've found that I have to move around the house slowly as I've already pushed some books off the table and knocked over a glass of water. I've also gotten it caught in the front door.

Mort is being kind enough to stand in as my son Ullr, which basically entails him sitting there looking interested while I keep pretending. I think he's really reading the newspaper sitting in front of him, but still, he's being a good sport about it.

I hope John will dress up like Thor when he gets home!

My Son, the Projectmeister

I hear other moms complain that when school projects come around, the parents end up doing more work than the kids. They have to buy the materials, keep on their kid to make sure they finish in time, and clean up the mess... I just don't understand it. Sure I had to pick up a few things for Otto at the store this morning for his latest school project, but sometimes I feel like I just need to wind him up and let him go. He's so self-sufficient! Well, at least when it comes to these kinds of things. Plus he always works on things about which he is very passionate. We should all be so lucky!

As soon as we got home from the store with some plaster of Paris, some paint, and a few army men, I turned to talk to Otto about his project and got out half a word before he grabbed the bag out of my hand and said, "Thanks, Mom! Let me know when dinner is ready," and then he disappeared. I've learned not to pry, realizing that boys like to have their secret laboratories. But I sure hope he doesn't practice making plaster casts on Mort. Frogs aren't known for being good patients.

Edited later to add: I've now seen Otto's completed project. It is very well done, if a bit... revisionist. I'm very curious to see what comments his teacher will have!

The iPad Will Be Mine. Oh Yes, It Will Be Mine!

I try not to be an early adopter. For one, it gets expensive. For two, you never know which fun gadgets will take off and be useful, and which will whimper and die a quiet death having only been fun for fun's sake. But while I knew from the beginning that the iPad would be useful, awesome, and fun, it's still a good idea to wait for a second model before buying anything. So I kept waiting. And waiting. Coveting my neighbors' iPads. Making do with my little iPod Touch. Waiting. Yearning. Waiting. Planning. Until finally...

iPad 2 Release Date Announced!

It would have not one, but two cameras! It would be faster! It would be lighter! It would be thinner! And it would have a specially designed functional cover that you could buy for only $39.99! Ahhhh!!! After I managed to contain myself, I marked the calendar for the day when I could finally order one. And then I ordered one. One shiny, new, black, 64 GB wi-fi iPad, inscribed lovingly with, "Do, or do not. There is no try." Oh yes, it would be mine.

But once again it was a "hurry up and wait" kind of situation. Hurry up and order. Oh, but wait, it will be a month before it arrives. Ahhh! But after much planning and waiting, my iPad is almost here. I will be here waiting for it. And my family won't see me for the next week! I sure hope they'll send sandwiches because I'll be busy putting on apps, customizing settings, and reveling in this larger window to the world.

See you on FaceTime!

Otto's Long Wait, Hobbit-Style

Otto's off on another adventure of his own design. He and Mort are camping out waiting for The Hobbit movie to start. Nevermind that it's a long wait. He wants to be the first to get his ticket. He is even keeping a blog of his experience waiting for this epic movie. I've packed him some sandwiches and juice, but at this point I'm not sure if John and I are prepared to make the daily trips down to the theater to replenish his supplies. Perhaps he'll do some farming in the median. The growing season has started, after all.

Still, this reminds me of my own experience at his age, camping out for Return of the Jedi. The much-anticipated movie promised to answer all our questions and wrap up the story line. What was going to happen to Han and Leia? Where did Luke fit in? Would Han ever get out of the carbonite? What of Luke's training? Was he a half-Jedi? Would Yoda finish his instruction? All those mysteries I pondered as I camped out with my older sister, waiting to get tickets for the movie.

People didn't plan ahead so much in those days, though, and we only camped out for three days before the movie premiered. Our efforts were rewarded, however, when my sister and I were the first people to get tickets at our theater. The excitement of my pre-teen enthusiasm and crush on Han Solo were completely unaffected by any dose of reality. We watched the movie with wide eyes and loved it. And I loved the Ewoks, I have to admit. Sure, they weren't as hip as Tribbles, but they certainly didn't multiply like them, either.

My sister and I didn't get enough Star Wars to match our long build-up to seeing the movie, so after the movie was over we immediately got tickets to see it again. Our parents dropped some hot soup by to sustain us. I didn't keep a journal like Otto is doing, but that weekend certainly stands out as one of the most memorable of my childhood. I hope Otto has a similar experience! The long wait till be nothing in retrospect! Confusticate and bebother these dwarves!

Communicating With an Internet Addict 101

Out of necessity, I've developed a new way to communicate with my husband. He no longer responds to quiet polite comments, or even a shout across the house. I've always been very happy that I didn't have the kind of husband who watches football all day Sunday and ignores the rest of the world. But now I have a husband who has been seemingly irretrievably sucked into the internet. I can stand right next to him and wave my arms, and he is oblivious. It is starting to become problematic.

However! If I send him an email, or message him on Facebook, or even DM him on Twitter, he responds with amazing speed and efficiency. I've taken to carrying my laptop around the house for instant communication.

The only thing it doesn't work for, however, is calling him to dinner. He doesn't want to leave his desk. He must have a stash of food hidden somewhere, because he never seems to be hungry. But there is a silver lining to this issue. His unfortunate absence around the dinner table has allowed me to cook some more unusual dishes that Otto and I like, such as pork, vegetable, and raisin goulash stew! It's great with crusty bread.

Cookie, Cookie, Who's Got the Cookie?

When I was a girl, I loved being a Girl Scout. While all the other girls were whispering and passing notes, I was keeping a log of all my earned badges and figuring out what I needed to do to earn more. My favorites were the ones were I got to put things together, or to learn about science. It was also the first and last time that I got to wear a uniform. Color-coordinated polyester goodness! Also, because of this early exposure, I loved Girl Scout cookies from an early age. I didn't much care for selling them (going door to door and talking to strangers just isn't my cup of tea), but.. oh yum.. the cookies!

Having a son of my own instead of a daughter, I no longer have an easy "in" for getting as many cookies as I want. We do have a couple of sources, though. John's got someone at work. And one of the girls in the neighborhood sometimes comes to our door. But we have to be on our toes. To make sure we get our cookies, every spring we go on the prowl, laying in wait for when the cookies will go on sale. And then we pounce. Whoever gives us the first opportunity gets a huge order.

We order some of everything. I have my favorites. John has his. Otto likes to have as wide a variety as possible in as large a quantity as possible. And Mort, well, he'll only eat the Thin Mints. But he eats a lot of them.

We turn into paranoid hoarders come Girl Scout cookie season. We love our Girl Scout cookies. So we each have our personal stashes that we carefully hide and guard. I have all of mine hidden in a very secret location. I won't tell where. Otto might find out. I trust Otto in most things, but when it comes to Girl Scout cookies, he cannot be trusted!

I must go. The Trefoils are calling me.